Wednesday, August 30, 2006

30 Rock


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Jack: Look, Tracy - I can’t just give you money. But what I can do is show you how you can earn all the money you need. You must know Arsenio …
Tracy Jordan: Hall or Billingham?
Jack: You know someone named Arsenio Billingham?
Tracy Jordan: No.
--"30 Rock" (NBC)



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Jack: Conan, Tracy’s really excited to be back on your show.
Conan O’Brien: I don’t know. He’s kind of a loose cannon, and I like to surround myself with people who don’t try to stab me.
Jack: Well, Tracy’s feeling a lot better now. He’s under a doctor’s care.
Conan: That’s what they said about Hasselhoff, then he tried to make out with me during a commercial break.
--"30 Rock" (NBC)



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Jack: Lemon, I want to thank you. For showing me that I could have a pleasant evening with a woman my age.
Liz: I’m twelve years younger than you.
Jack: A woman your age then...
--"30 Rock" (NBC)



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Jack: Are you familiar with the GE tri-vection oven?
Liz: I don't cook very much.
Jack: Sure...I gotcha. New York, third-wave feminist, college-educated, single and pretending to be happy about it, over-scheduled, undersexed, you buy any magazine that says 'healthy body image' on the cover, and every two years you take up knitting for [pause] a week.
Pete: That is dead on!
Liz: What, are you going to guess my weight now?
Jack: You don't want me to do that.
--"30 Rock" (NBC)



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Liz: I thought Tracy was getting here at noon.
Jack: Movie stars move at their own pace, Liz. We have to accommodate him.
Liz: Yeah, well, a lot of people are still upset about Tracy joining the show.
Jack: Well, that's not my problem. I have other things on my plate. You hear about that chemical factory explosion outside of Colorado Springs?
Liz: No.
Jack: Good.
--"30 Rock" (NBC)



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Liz: Mr. Donaghy, I sincerely apologize; I'm so embarrassed.
Jack: Well, I guess you must be embarrassed if you're hiding in the storage closet.
Liz: This is my office.
--"30 Rock" (NBC)



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Liz: Kenneth, why did you bet that terrible hand?
Kenneth: Why? Because I believe life is for the living. I believe in taking risks and biting off more than you can chew. And also, people were yelling and I got confused about the rules...
--"30 Rock" (NBC)



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Jack: All of my summer replacement shows were big hits - America's Next Top Pirate, Are You Stronger Than A Dog, MILF Island.
Liz: "MILF Island"?
Jack: 25 super hot moms, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules.
Liz: Oh yeah, didn't one of those women turn out to be a prostitute?
Jack: That doesn't mean she's not a wonderful, caring MILF...
--"30 Rock" (NBC)



____________________________
Jack: He is not your friend, he's your opponent. He's going to try to grab all the marbles and it's our job to hide them.
Liz: That's not how you play marbles, Jack.
Jack: But that's how you keep them.
--"30 Rock" (NBC)

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