House


______________________
Dr. Cuddy: You put him on the medication Lupra?
House: Uh-huh.
Dr. Cuddy: And you told him it was like milk?
House: Yes.
Dr. Cuddy: Is there any way in which that is not a lie?
House: …It's creamy?
--“House” (FOX)


___________________
Dr. Foreman: He probably just moved. Nobody stays perfectly still for their MRI...
House: Yeah, he probably got restless and shifted one hemisphere of his brain to a more comfortable position.
--“House” (FOX)



______________________
Rachel Adler: I just want to die with a little dignity.
House: There's no such thing! Our bodies break down, sometimes when we're 90, sometimes before we're even born, but it always happens and there's never any dignity in it! I don't care if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass... it's always ugly, always! You can live with dignity; you can't die with it....
--“House” (FOX)

______________________
House: You told me you hadn't changed your diet or exercise. Were you lying?
Samantha: Lying?
House: Does your husband have high blood pressure?
Samantha: My husband?
House: Yeah, see, if you're going to repeat everything I say, this conversation's going to take twice as long.
--“House” (FOX)


______________________
House: Fine, I'll never do it again.
Dr. Foreman: Yes you will!
House: All the more reason this discussion is pointless.
--“House” (FOX)


______________________
Dr. Wilson: Did your pager really go off, or are you ditching the conversation?
House: Why can't both be true?
--“House” (FOX)


______________________
Bill: Joey is not gay.
House: Maybe not gay, but certainly delightful.
--“House” (FOX)


____________________
Stacy: God, you are such an idiot.
House: Actually, I thought I was more of a jerk....
--“House” (FOX)


______________________
House: Is this an intervention? You're a little late, since I'm not using drugs anymore. I am, however, still hooked on phonics....
--“House” (FOX)



___________________
Dr. Wilson: So your philosophy is, if they don't want treatment they get it shoved down their throat, but if it might cure their paralysis, Whoa, you'd better slow down.
House: Yeah, My old philosophy used to be ‘Live and Let Live', but I'm taking this needlepoint class and they gave us these really big pillows.
Dr. Wilson: What's your philosophy on employee relations?
House: That's a very tiny pillow.
--“House” (FOX)



________________
House: 'Cause they're useless. Could probably scan every one of us and find five different doodads that look like cancer. But, when you're 4th-down, 100 to go, in the snow, you don't call a running play up the middle. Unless you're the Jets...
--“House” (FOX)

_______________________
Chris: You're reading a comic book.
House: And you're calling attention to your bosom by wearing a low-cut top. Oh, I'm sorry – I thought we were having a ‘state the obvious' contest. I'm competitive by nature....
--“House” (FOX)