Jimmy Kimmel Live


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Jimmy Kimmel: He sat down for a one-on-one with Fox News. Very bold choice… Dick Cheney sitting down with Fox News is like Mrs. Butterworth sitting down with the Pancake Channel…
--“Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC)


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Jimmy: Congratulations to Charlie Sheen, who's marrying his longtime girlfriend. I have to say... Charlie Sheen has a longtime girlfriend?
--“Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC)


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Jimmy: Former baseball star Jose Canseco has a new book out. It’s a tell-all autobiography in which he claims he injected his former teammate, superstar Mark McGwire, with steroids. He also claims that President Bush, who was then a co-owner of the Texas Rangers, was aware of steroid use among players. A White House spokesperson says Bush was not aware of it, nor was he aware of most anything during the early '90s. Mark McGwire vehemently denies the accusation – he got so angry when he heard about it, he picked up his house and threw it onto the freeway.
--“Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC)