Mystery Science Theater 3000


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Gypsy: Guys, that's not cheese...
--"Mystery Science Theater 3000" (Comedy Central)


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Tom Servo: This has been a test. Had this been an actual movie, you would have been entertained...
--"Mystery Science Theater 3000" (Comedy Central)


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Dr. Forrester: As a scientist, I'm constantly working with materials that threaten life on a global scale, and, sometimes, they spill...
--"Mystery Science Theater 3000" (Comedy Central)


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Tom Servo: So, Mike, turtles excrete wax and you humans put it in cans and rub it all over your cars?
--"Mystery Science Theater 3000" (Comedy Central)


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Crow: Ooo. I bet that would taste great with drawn butter. Of course, I'd eat my own HEAD with drawn butter.
--"Mystery Science Theater 3000" (Comedy Central)


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Tom Servo: What do you think the lesson of the movie was?
Crow: Don't watch it?
--"Mystery Science Theater 3000" (Comedy Central)


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Crow: I have my doubts that this movie is actually "starring" anybody. More like "camera is generally pointed at."
Tom Servo: Gee, even the movie "The Fog" didn't have this much fog....
--"Mystery Science Theater 3000" (Comedy Central)


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Tom Servo -- Who knew that Hall's vapor action could be so powerful?
--"Mystery Science Theater 3000" (Comedy Central)


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Dr. Forrester: Larry and I have developed a new chain of fast food restaurants with very low overhead because we don't cook our food....
--"Mystery Science Theater 3000" (Comedy Central)

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(watching "The Incredible Melting Man"....)
Mike: Is there a "Credible" Melting Man...?
--"Mystery Science Theater 3000" (Comedy Central)


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Tom Servo: Filmed in Vermont, the other, smaller Wisconsin....
--"Mystery Science Theater 3000" (Comedy Central)


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Tom Servo: Forty-seven Keebler Elves were killed when a light plane crashed into their tree today...
Mike: E.L. Fudge is in serious condition.....
--"Mystery Science Theater 3000" (Comedy Central)


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Dr. Forrester: Frank, I'll give you three seconds to stop licking my face....
TV's Frank: Count slow...
--"Mystery Science Theater 3000" (Comedy Central)



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Actor: Gentlemen, it seems that we are not all in agreement.
Mike: I disagree!
--"Mystery Science Theater 3000" (Comedy Central)


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Mike: I have the feeling Satan would regret making this movie....
--"Mystery Science Theater 3000" (Comedy Central)

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Tom Servo: Objection! The use of the term 'nipple' is imprecise, incorrect, and misleading, though, I admit, mildly provocative...
--"Mystery Science Theater 3000" (Comedy Central)