Daily Show with Jon Stewart


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Rob Coddry: See, if a pharmaceutical company advertises a prescription drug but doesn't say what it does, the FDA doesn't make them list the side effects. That's why the TV spots for the drugs I just mentioned don't give the foggiest indication for what those pills do other than that they seem to help old people ride tandem bicycles...
--"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" (Comedy Central)



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Jon Stewart: Samantha, could you describe what caused the blackout?
Samantha: Well, Jon, at about two in the afternoon, a power station overloaded at the Lake Erie Loop. The power grid failed. Jon?
Jon Stewart: Is that all?
Samantha: Pretty much.
Jon Stewart: Do you even know how the power is distributed?
Samantha Bee: Evenly?
--"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" (Comedy Central)



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Jon Stewart: Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake...
--"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" (Comedy Central)

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Larry: Disney's making a movie starring a black princess. And we only had to get through a Native American princess, an Arab princess, a Chinese princess, even a half-fish princess. Not to mention the countless cats, dogs, mice, elephants, talking cars, and whatever the hell Stitch was..
--"The Daily Show" (Comedy Central)