Late Night with Conan O'Brien


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Conan: You shot the Easter Bunny!
Will Ferrell: He made a menacing gesture at me!
Conan: I think he was trying to give you an egg!
Will Ferrell: Why is the Easter Bunny even here, Conan? It's not Easter!
Conan O'Brien: I don't know, he just likes to hang around the studio sometimes...
--"Late Night with Conan O'Brien" (NBC)



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Conan: Now as I mentioned in the monologue, or as I like to call it - quiet time...
--"Late Night with Conan O'Brien" (NBC)


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Conan: Ben and J-Lo have announced that they want a small wedding. So they decided to invite all the people who saw "Gigli".
--"Late Night with Conan O'Brien" (NBC)



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Conan: Intelligence reports say that Osama bin Laden's personal physician has been successfully captured. Right now, the Army is also attempting to capture his dentist and his Pilates instructor.
--"Late Night with Conan O'Brien" (NBC)



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Conan: Mel Gibson wrote a children's book. It's called "Jesus Christ and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day".
--"Late Night with Conan O'Brien" (NBC)


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Conan: Have you ever had Fruity Pebbles? Once that stuff hits milk, it turns into a narcotic!
--"Late Night with Conan O'Brien" (NBC)



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Conan: People of Quebec! I am an albino jackass.
--"Late Night with Conan O'Brien" (NBC)



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Conan O’Brien: The New York Daily News reports that Leonard Nimoy, Star Trek’s Mr. Spock, will star in a pain-reliever ad during the Super Bowl. Star Trek fans were excited by this news and asked…”what’s the Super Bowl”?
--"Late Night with Conan O'Brien" (NBC)

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A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."
--"Late Night with Conan O'Brien" (NBC)