Flight of the Conchords


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Bret: After 6 or 7 weeks, girls find me boring. But I’m not sure what happens because I think that’s how long it takes to get to know someone....
--"Flight of the Conchords" (HBO)



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Jemaine: Why would I stand next to big magnets, Murray?
Murray: I don't know what you do in your personal life...
--"Flight of the Conchords" (HBO)



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Murray: Lots of New Zealanders come over here and they come into my office and I give them the vest, a map, and I tell them to stay clear of crowds by going through back alleys. And yet almost every day a New Zealander is mugged.
--"Flight of the Conchords" (HBO)


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Jemaine: Man, back in New Zealand I was getting it on with lots of chicks.
Bret: Who?
Jemaine: Well, ah, Sarah Fitzpatrick, Michelle Fitzpatrick, Claire Fitzpatrick... the list goes on.
Bret: That was all of them.
Jemaine: Well, triple figures.
Bret: No that's not triple figures. That's three...
--"Flight of the Conchords" (HBO)


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Jemaine: (To thugs) You better be careful. Bret knows karate.
Bret: Yeah, I've got a book on karate... haven't actually read it yet.
--"Flight of the Conchords" (HBO)


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Jermaine: You're so pretty, like a tree or a high-class prostitute.
--"Flight of the Conchords" (HBO)