Frasier


_____________________
Niles: Well, this has been kind of fun, but I must really run. I'm conducting a seminar for multiple personality disorders and it takes me forever to fill out the name tags...
--"Frasier" (NBC)


_____________________
Frasier: Niles, I would shave my head for you.
Niles: A gesture which becomes less significant with each passing year.
--"Frasier" (NBC)


_____________________
Niles: Those were awful, those family driving vacations. Dad insisting on covering as many miles as possible in a day; the two of us, tiny hostages in the back seat, clutching our car sickness bags, straining to see something out of the window as the landscape whizzed by. I was 13 before I realized cows aren't blurry....
--"Frasier" (NBC)


__________________
Martin: This is Eddie. We like to call him 'Eddie Spaghetti'...
Daphne: Why, does he like pasta?
Martin: No, he's got worms...
--"Frasier" (NBC)


__________________
Frasier: I hate lawyers.
Niles: Oh, me too, but they make wonderful patients. They have excellent health insurance, and they never get better.
--"Frasier" (NBC)


__________________
Marie: Am I crazy or are you breaking up with me?
Frasier: They're not completely unrelated.
--"Frasier" (NBC)


__________________
Frasier: You know Daphne, it's going to be quite a hoot this weekend. You sure you don't want to join us?
Daphne: Gutting fish, watching home movies and hosing down your father's pants. It does sound tempting...
--"Frasier" (NBC)


__________________
Frasier: Niles, before you do something rash, you should consider it from all angles.
Niles: I've spent three years considering Daphne from all angles...
--"Frasier" (NBC)



________________
Frasier: Oh, joy, Christmas Eve. By this time tomorrow, millions of Americans, knee-deep in tinsel and wrapping paper will utter those heartfelt words, 'Is this all I got?'
--"Frasier" (NBC)



_____________________
Frasier: There's an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the Tunneling Electron Microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building block of our universe. If I were using that microscope right now....I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem.
--"Frasier" (NBC)