Friends


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Joey: You don't own a TV? What's all your furniture pointed at?
--"Friends" (NBC)


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Rachel: Guess what, GUESS WHAT?!
Chandler: The fifth dentist finally caved and now they ALL recommend Trident?
--"Friends" (NBC)

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Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.
Ross: Ah, the lesser known "I Don't Have a Dream" speech...
--"Friends" (NBC)


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Monica: Chandler, here you go, got your traditional Thanksgiving feast, you got your tomato soup, your grilled cheese fixin's, and your family size bag of Funyuns...
Rachel: Wait, wait, Chandler, this is what you're having for Thanksgiving dinner? What, what, what is it with you and this holiday?
Chandler: All right, I'm nine years old... we just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have--and I remember this part vividly--a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced.
Rachel: Oh my god.
Chandler: Yes. It's very difficult to appreciate a Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse.
--"Friends" (NBC)


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Joey: Want some jam?
Chandler: No thanks, I just had a jar of mustard....
--"Friends" (NBC)


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Joey: It's a moo point.
Rachel: What?
Joey: You know, it's like a cow's opinion. It doesn't matter. It's moo.
Rachel: Have I been living with him too long or did that just all make sense?
--"Friends" (NBC)



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Ross: You never read Lord of the Rings in high school?
Joey: No, I had sex in high school.
--"Friends" (NBC)


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Phoebe: If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer....
--"Friends" (NBC)



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Ross: What are you doing?
Chandler: Making chocolate milk. You want some?
Ross: No thanks, I'm 29.
--"Friends" (NBC)


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Joey: What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?
Monica: Is it like for dinosaur emergencies? "Help, come quick, they're still extinct!"
--"Friends" (NBC)



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Joey: You can't have Thanksgiving without turkey. That's like Fourth of July without apple pie, or Friday with no two pizzas....
--"Friends" (NBC)


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Ross: What is with everyone today? It's Thanksgiving not Truth Day!
--"Friends" (NBC)



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Rachel: So are things between you and Joey getting any better?
Chandler: It couldn't get any worse. Last night, I spent eight hours calling him, trying to get him to talk to me.
Rachel: Oh, wow. Eight hours. So you could probably really use one of those plug-in telephone headsets, huh?
Ross: Should we all expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen from your office?
--"Friends" (NBC)


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Rachel: You are having a party tonight?
Joey: I am kind of having a thing for the Days of Our Lives people.
Rachel: And you weren't gonna tell us? How did you think you were gonna get away with that?
Joey: I do it every year.
Rachel: You do it every year?
Joey: I didn't have to tell you that!
Rachel: That's why you got us tickets to that play! To get rid of us!
Joey: Yeah...
Rachel: And last year, is that why you sent us to that Medieval times restaurant?
Joey: Yeah...
Rachel: And the year before that, when you set up that nightime tour of that button factory!
Joey: I can't believe you guys went for that one!
--"Friends" (NBC)