Gilmore Girls


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Lane: The very concept of childbirth is vaguely disturbing.
Rory: Yeah. Kids are cool and all, but getting there seems like a big cosmic joke.
Lane: Definitely thought up by a man...
--"Gilmore Girls" (WB)



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Lorelai: So, apparently, I'm now the Reigning Lorelai.
Rory: Huh. I guess you are.
Lorelai: It's a lot of responsibility.
Rory: Well, sure.
Lorelai: I mean, it's mostly ceremonial stuff nowadays. Declaring knighthoods, opening supermarkets. But now and then, you get to banish someone or pose for a stamp.
--"Gilmore Girls" (WB)



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Logan: Rory, you're special.
Rory: Like "stop-eating-the-paste" special?
--"Gilmore Girls" (WB)



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Sookie: Okay, here we go. Low fat, whole wheat blueberry pancakes.
Michel: Are there 12?
Sookie: 12 what?
Michel: Blueberries. I can only have 12 blueberries for breakfast.
Sookie: Or what?
Michel: What do you mean, or what?
Sookie: What happens if you eat 13 blueberries?
Michel: This is a silly conversation.
Sookie: Would you die?
Michel: Just hand me the plate.
--"Gilmore Girls" (WB)



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Sookie: I will give it a 9.
Lorelai: 9.5
Sookie: What will make it a 10?
Lorelai: Another half point...
--"Gilmore Girls" (WB)



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Lorelai: Michel - the phone!
Michel: Yes. It rings.
Lorelai: Can you answer it?
Michel: No. People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them...
--"Gilmore Girls" (WB)



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Lorelai: This is it. She can finally go to Harvard like she's always wanted and get the education that I never got and get to do all the things that I never got to do and then I can resent her for it and we can finally have a normal mother-daughter relationship...
--"Gilmore Girls" (WB)



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Rory: I can't be late on my first day of school. Do you know what happens to people when they're late on their first day?
Lorelai: It's shorter?
--"Gilmore Girls" (WB)



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Lorelai: Hey, I should bring steak sauce, right?
Rory: For what?
Lorelai: Pizza.
Rory: I just got back from Italy.
Lorelai: So?
Rory: So they'd shoot you in Italy for that.
Lorelai: But this is America, where we unapologetically bastardize other countries' cultures in a gross quest for moral and military supremacy...
Rory: I forgot. Bring on the imperialistic condiments.
--"Gilmore Girls" (WB)



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Marty: Okay. I actually snagged us some caviar. They were all out of toast points, but I think we can use Doritos and achieve a very similar result...
--"Gilmore Girls" (WB)