Alias


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Will: Okay, now, here's my question. Who eats this crap? I mean, it's like Marzipan, but it's worse. If it's a question between this or, like, dirt, I would be all over the dirt.
--"Alias" (ABC)



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Sydney: Sloane got back from London last night. Emily knew the truth. Her death, his immediately being let in; I'm confident he killed his wife to get that seat.
Vaughn: Killing his wife wouldn't surprise me. Eating his wife wouldn't surprise me....
--"Alias" (ABC)



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Weiss: There's no way that guy smells as good as you.
Vaughn: It's aftershave. I got a new aftershave.
Weiss: Yeah, well, I'd lighten up on it.
Vaughn: Yeah?
Weiss: Oh, yeah. To the point of non-use.
--"Alias" (ABC)



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Sydney: You know any jokes? 'Cause I could use one.
Vaughn: This grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" And the grasshopper says...
Sydney: "You have a drink named Doug?"
Vaughn: Well, I was going to use Phil.
Sydney: Well, Phil is certainly no funnier than Doug.
--"Alias" (ABC)



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Sydney: You look great. You lost weight?
Weiss: Oh, thanks, yeah. I sorta gave up all the foods that I enjoy...
--"Alias" (ABC)



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Jack Bristow: If you tell anyone about this conversation, you will no longer be able to wear a hat....
--"Alias" (ABC)


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Vaughn: Do you think you can be in love with two people at the same time?
Weiss: No. I don't. However, I did have the same intense feelings for both Sporty and Posh Spice.
Vaughn: Yeah, who didn't?
--"Alias" (ABC)



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Sydney: Did you close your eyes at all?
Vaughn: On and off. You talk in your sleep.
Sydney: No! What did I say?
Vaughn: "Don't frost the pie!" It seemed really important.
--"Alias" (ABC)