Motion Pictures

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Christine: Oh, no... it's just I thought you had hidden depths.
Will: No, no, you've always had that wrong about me. I really am this shallow.
--“About a Boy” (2002)


_____________________
Lindsay Brigman: We all see what we want to see. Coffey looks and he sees Russians. He sees hate and fear. You have to look with better eyes than that.
--"The Abyss" (1988)



_____________________
President Andrew Shepherd: America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You've got to want it bad, because it's going to put up a fight. The symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then you can stand up and sing about the land of the free...
--"The American President" (1995)



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Lewis: Who are you calling, sir?
Andrew: I'm calling the organization of the United Brotherhood of It's None of Your Damn Business, Lewis. I'll be with you in a minute.
--"The American President" (1995)



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Reporter Brian Fantana: That was one crazy party. I am hung over.
Sports Anchor Champ Kind: I woke up on the floor of some Japanese family's rec room, and they would NOT stop screaming!
Weatherman Brick Tamland: I ate a big, red candle.
--"Anchorman" (2004)



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Brick Tamland: I ate fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like the guy said......my tummy itches.
--"Anchorman" (2004)



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Ron Burgundy: I'm showing Jeffrey my Emmy tape. We are watching history....
--"Anchorman" (2004)



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General Kimsey: The fate of the planet is in the hands of a bunch of retards I wouldn't trust with a potato gun.
--"Armageddon" (1998)



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Dr. Evil: Scott, I want you to meet daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers
Scott Evil: What? Are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him?
Dr. Evil: I have an even better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death.
--"Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery" (1997)



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Dr. Evil: You're not quite evil enough. You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough...
--"Austin Powers: The Spy who Shagged Me" (1999)



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Ivana: Do you know how we keep warm in Russia?
Austin: I can guess, baby.
Ivana: We play chess.
Austin: I guessed wrong.
--"Austin Powers: The Spy who Shagged Me" (1999)



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Marty: Doc are you telling me you built a time machine . . . out of a Delorean?
Dr. Emmett L. Brown: The way I see it, if you're gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style...
--"Back to the Future" (1985)



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Alfred: Can I persuade you to take a sandwich with you, sir?
Batman: I'll get drive-thru.
--"Batman Forever" (1995)



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Abby: It's not brave if you're not scared....
--"Bounce" (2000)



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John: Hey, Cherry. Do you belong to the physics club?
Claire: That's an academic club.
John: So?
Claire: So academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs.
John: Ah... but to dorks like him, they are. What do you guys do in your club?
Brian: Well, in physics we... we talk about physics, properties of physics...
John Bender: So it's sorta social, demented and sad, but social. Right?
--"The Breakfast Club" (1985)



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Tom: What do you do when your real life exceeds your dreams?
Aaron: Keep it to yourself...
--"Broadcast News" (1987)



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Hale: If we ever go to war against Utah, we'll really kick ass.
--"Broken Arrow" (1996)



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Crash Davis: Man that ball got outta here in a hurry. I mean anything travels that far oughta have a damn stewardess on it, don't you think?
--"Bull Durham" (1988)


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Crash: Well, I believe in the soul, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days....
--"Bull Durham" (1988)



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Store Clerk: Can you give me one good reason to steal a Snickers bar?
Bert: The nougat?
--"Cabin Fever" (2002)



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Chip: Free cable is the ultimate aphrodisiac....
--"The Cable Guy" (1996)



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Spalding Smails: I want a hamburger... no, a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake...
Judge Smails: You'll get nothing, and like it....
--"Caddyshack" (1980)



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Hal: If you're looking for Qualen, try about 4,000 feet south of here. He'll be the one wearing the helicopter...
--"Cliffhanger" (1993)



_____________________
Vince: Are you with me or do you need me to draw it in crayon for you, like usual....
--"Con Air" (1997)



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Palmer: What are you studying up there?
Ellie: Oh, the usual. Nebulae, quasars, pulsars, stuff like that. What are you writing?
Palmer: The usual. Nouns, adverbs, adjective here and there.
--"Contact" (1987)



__________________
Young Ellie: Dad, do you think there's people on other planets?
Ted Arroway: I don't know, Sparks. But I guess I'd say if it is just us... seems like an awful waste of space...
--"Contact" (1987)



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Sophie Neveu: It's a cryptex. Da Vinci's design. Sauniere made me one for my birthday once.
Robert Langdon: My grandfather got me a wagon...
--"The Da Vinci Code" (2006)



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Dr. Susan McAlestar: There he is, Dr. Jim Whitlock. One of the smartest men on the planet.
Russell Franklin: How smart can he be? He's peeing into the wind...
--"Deep Blue Sea" (1999)


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Frank Costello: When you decide to be something, you can be it. That's what they don't tell you in the church. When I was your age they would say we can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
--"The Departed" (2007)


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Cotton McKnight: In 23 years of broadcasting I thought I'd seen it all, folks. But it looks like Peter La Fleur has actually blindfolded himself.
Pepper Brooks: He will not be able to see very well, Cotton...
--"Dodgeball" (2004)



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Loki: Are you kidding me? Any moron with a pack of matches can start a fire. Raining down sulfur takes a huge level of endurance. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer.
--"Dogma" (1999)



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Santa: I've been to New York thousands of times.
Buddy: Really?
Santa: Mm-hmm.
Buddy: What's it like?
Santa: Well, there are some things you should know. First off, you see gum on the street, leave it there. It isn't free candy.
Buddy: Oh.
Santa: Second, there are, like, thirty Ray's Pizzas. They all claim to be the original. But the real one's on 11th Street. And if you see a sign that says "Peep Show", that doesn't mean that they're letting you look at the new toys before Christmas....
--"Elf" (2003)



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John Kinsella: Is this heaven?
Ray Kinsella: It's Iowa....
--"Field of Dreams" (1989)



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Cameron: The 1961 Ferrari 250GT California. Less than a hundred were made. My father spent three years restoring this car. It is his love, it is his passion....
Ferris: It is his fault he didn't lock the garage.
--"Ferris Bueller's Day Off" (1986)



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Snooty Maitre D': You're Abe Froman?
Ferris: That's right.
Snooty Maitre D': The sausage king of Chicago?
Ferris: Yep. That's me.
--"Ferris Bueller's Day Off" (1986)



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Ferris: Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it....
--"Ferris Bueller's Day Off" (1986)



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Sam Weinberg: You heard her. My daughter said a word. She said 'pa'.
Daniel Kaffee: She was pointing to a mailbox, Sam.
Sam Weinberg: That's right. She pointed to the mailbox and said 'pa, look, a mailbox'.
--"A Few Good Men" (1992)



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Lt. Weinberg: Cmdr. Galloway, Lt. Kaffee is considered to be the best litigator in our office. He successfully plea bargained 44 cases in 9 months.
Kaffee: One more and I get a set of steak knives.
--"A Few Good Men" (1992)



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Kaffee: I don't like flying because I'm afraid of crashing into a large mountain. I don't think Dramamine is going to help.
Weinberg: Try some oregano. I hear that works pretty good...
--"A Few Good Men" (1992)



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Sarah: Why do you hate us so much?
Liam: I don't hate you Sarah, I just don't care about you...
--"Firewall" (2006)



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Carson: What are you going to do, blow us both up?
Kyle: No. Just you...
--"Flightplan" (2005)



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Matthew: You remember his fabulous hospitality and his strange experimental cooking.The recipe for "Duck a la Banana" fortunately goes with him to his grave...
--"Four Weddings and a Funeral" (1994)

_______________________

_____________________
Charles: My job today is to talk about Angus. There are no skeletons in his cupboard. Or so I thought. I'll come on to that in a minute. I would just like to say this. I am, as ever, in bewildered awe of anyone who makes this kind of commitment that Angus and Laura have made today. I know I couldn't do it and I think it's wonderful they can. So, back to Angus and those sheep...
--"Four Weddings and a Funeral" (1994)



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Tom: The great advantage of having a reputation for being stupid: People are less suspicious of you.
--"Four Weddings and a Funeral" (1994)



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David: How are you doing?
Charles: You remember the time you started dad's boat and the propeller cut my leg to shreds
David: Yeah?
Charles: This is worse…
--“Four Weddings and a Funeral” (1994)



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U.S. Marshal Samuel Gerard: Let that be a lesson to you, boys and girls. Don't ever argue with the big dog, because the big dog is always right.
--"The Fugitive" (1993)



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Mathesar: We have enjoyed preparing many of your esoteric dishes. Your Monte Cristo sandwich is a current favorite among the adventurous.
Quellek: Are you enjoying your Kep-mok blood ticks, Dr. Lazarus?
Sir Alexander Dane: [disgusted] Just like mother used to make....
--"Galaxy Quest (1999)



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Chili Palmer: What is that?
Rental Car Attendant: It's an Oldsmobile Silhouette.
Chili Palmer: I ordered a Cadillac.
Rental Car Attendant: Oh, well, you got the Cadillac of minivans.
--"Get Shorty" (1996)



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Dr. Egon Spengler: Well, let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning's reading, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds. ..
--"Ghostbusters" (1984)



_________________
Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria....
--"Ghostbusters" (1984)



________________
Dr. Raymond Stantz: It can't be!
Dr. Peter Venkman: What is it?
Ray: It can't be?
Peter: What did you do, Ray?
Ray: .....It's..the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man..
--"Ghostbusters" (1984)



_____________________
Ray Stantz: You know, it just occurred to me that we really haven't had a successful test of this equipment.
Egon Spengler: I blame myself.
Peter Venkman: So do I.
Ray Stantz: Well, no sense in worrying about it now.
Peter Venkman: Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.
--"Ghostbusters" (1984)


_____________________
Dr. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean "bad"?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Dr. Peter Venkman: That's bad. Okay. Alright, important safety tip, thanks Egon...
--"Ghostbusters" (1984)



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Blake: We're adding a little something to this month's sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize?.... Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired.
--"Glengarry Glen Ross" (1992)



_____________________
Will: Do you like apples?
Clark: Yeah.
Will: Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?
--"Good Will Hunting" (1997)



_____________________
Senator Vernon Trent: You can take that to the bank!
Mason Storm: I'm gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent. To the blood bank!
--"Hard to Kill" (1990)



___________________
Eady: You travel a lot?
Neil McCauley: Yeah.
Eady: Traveling makes you lonely?
Neil McCauley: I'm alone, I am not lonely....
--"Heat" (1995)


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Capt. Visili Borodin: I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pickup truck... maybe even a "recreational vehicle." And drive from state to state. Do they let you do that?
--"The Hunt for Red October" (1990)


_____________________
Captain Steven Hiller: Let's try that again.
David Levinson: Yes. Without the "oops."
--"Independence Day" (1996)



_________________________
George Bailey: What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary.
Mary: I'll take it. Then what?
George: Well, then you can swallow it, and it'll all dissolve, see... and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your hair... am I talking too much?
--"It's a Wonderful Life" (1946)



_____________________
Brody: Y'know, I used to hate the water...
Hooper: I can't imagine why...
--"Jaws" (1975)


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Dr. Ian Malcolm: Anybody hear that? It's an... It's an impact tremor, that's what it is... I'm fairly alarmed here... Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend...
--"Jurassic Park" (1993)


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Bob: I was feeling tight in the shoulders and neck, so I called down and had a Shiatsu massage in my room...
Charlotte: Mmh, that's nice...
Bob: And the tightness has completely disappeared and been replaced by unbelievable pain...
--"Lost in Translation" (2003)



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Ian Malcolm: Oooh! Ahhh! That's how it always starts. Then later there's running and screaming. Taking dinosaurs off this island is the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas...
--"The Lost World: Jurassic Park" (1997)



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Daniel: You're the best friend I've ever had.
Miyagi: You pretty okay too.
--“The Karate Kid” (1984)



_________
Nola: Men seem to think I'd be somebody very special...
Christopher: Are you?
Nola: Well, no one's ever asked for their money back...
--"Match Point" (2005)



_____________________
Sir Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.
Sir Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Sir Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.
--"Monty Python and the Holy Grail" (1975)



_____________________
Bedevere: ...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped.
Arthur: This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.
--"Monty Python and the Holy Grail" (1975)



__________________
French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries....
--"Monty Python and the Holy Grail" (1975)



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Miss Piggy: Kermie, whisper sweet nothings into my ear...
Kermit: Uh... motorcycle cop.
Miss Piggy: "Motorcycle cop" is a sweet nothing?
Kermit: A motorcycle cop is chasing us....
--"The Muppet Movie" (1979)



____________________
George: It’s amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy….
--“My Best Friend’s Wedding” (1997)



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Benjy: Catherine, Jews know two things: suffering, and where to find great Chinese food...
--"My Favorite Year" (1982)



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Sadusky: Door number one, you go to prison for a very long time. Door number two, we are going to get back the Declaration of Independence, you help us find it, and you still go to prison for a very long time, but you feel better inside.
Ben Gates: Is there a door that doesn't lead to prison?
--“National Treasure” (2004)



_____________________
Ben Gates: If there's something wrong, those who have the ability to take action have the responsibility to take action.
--“National Treasure” (2004)



_____________________
Shaw: Look... this is a waste of time. How could a ship wind up way out here?
Riley Poole: Well, I'm no expert but... it could be that the hydrothermic properties of this region produce hurricane-force ice storms that cause the ocean to freeze and then melt and then refreeze, resulting in a semisolid migrating land mass that would land a ship right around here.
--“National Treasure” (2004)



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Patrick Gates: The Statue of Liberty! But which one?
Riley Poole: Exactly! Wait, there's more than one?
--"National Treasure: Book of Secrets" (2007)



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William: I enjoyed the movie very much. I was just wondering, did you ever consider having more horses in it?
Anna: Well, we would have liked to. But it was difficult, obviously, being set in outer space...
--“Notting Hill” (1999)



_____________________
George: This is good Lace, you're a good cook.
Lace: No, I only make two things pretty well: pork chops and turkey.
George: Which is this?
--"Phenomenon" (1996)



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Will Turner: This is either madness... or brilliance....
Jack Sparrow: It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide...
--"Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl" (2003)



_____________________
Diane: Like who? I looked in the Yellow Pages. "Furniture Movers" we've got; "Strange Phenomenon", there's no listing...
--"Poltergeist" (1982)



_____________________
Reverend Scott: Through the kitchens and go deeper and deeper in the ship till we reach the hull. That way!
Mike Rogo: And you just kick out the botton and we swim ashore, huh?
Linda Rogo: Or maybe you could yell 'This is the police' and it'll open right up!
--"The Poseidon Adventure" (1972)



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Jules: Looks like me and Vincent caught you at breakfast, sorry about that. What'cha eatin'?
Brett: Hamburgers.
Jules: Hamburgers. The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast...
--"Pulp Fiction" (1994)



_____________________
Vincent Vega: And you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?
Jules: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?
Vincent: No man, they got the metric system...
--"Pulp Fiction" (1994)


__________________
Dr. Bruner: Raymond, wouldn't you feel more relaxed in your favorite K-Mart clothes?
Charlie: Tell him, Ray.
Raymond: K-Mart sucks.
--"Rain Man" (1988)


___________________
Remy: We're thieves, and what we're stealing is, let's be honest, garbage.
Django: It's not stealing if no one wants it.
Remy: If no one wants it, then why are we stealing it?
--"Ratatouille" (2007)



_____________________
Kent: What's this supposed to be?
Chris: This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold...
--"Real Genius" (1985)



_____________________
Chris Knight: Kent put his name on his license plate.
Mitch Taylor: My mother does that to my underwear.
Chris: Your mother puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?
--"Real Genius" (1985)



_____________________
Professor Hathaway: I want to see more of you around the lab.
Chris: Fine. I'll gain weight.
--"Real Genius" (1985)



____________________
Chris Knight: If you think that by threatening me you can get me to be your slave, well... that's where you're right...
--"Real Genius" (1985)



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Dirk Pitt: I'm sorry, I don't speak English.
Gunboat Officer: You are speaking English right now.
Dirk Pitt: No, I only know how to say, "I don't speak English" in English.
--"Saraha" (2005)



_____________________
Lloyd Dobler: I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?
Joe: By choice, man!
--"Say Anything" (1989)



_____________________
Lloyd Dobler: I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.
--"Say Anything" (1989)

_____________________

Mal: I am to misbehave...

--"Serenity" (2005)

_____________________

Operative: I have a warship in deep orbit, Captain. We locked onto Serenity's pulse beacon the moment you hit atmosphere. I can speak a word and send a missile to that exact location inside of three minutes.
Mal: You do that, (pulls out Serenity's pulse beacon) you'd best make peace with your dear and fluffy Lord...

--"Serenity" (2005)


_____________________
Hal: There's Rosemary.
Mauricio: Where?
Hal: Right there!
Mauricio: Is she behind the Rhino?
--"Shallow Hal" (2001)



_____________________
Harriet Michaels: Do you actually like haggis?
Charlie Mackenzie: No, I think it's repellent in every way. In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
--"So I Married an Axe Murderer" (1993)



_____________________
Charlie Mackenzie: Dad, how can you hate "The Colonel"?
Stuart Mackenzie: Because he puts a secret ingredient in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartass!
--"So I Married an Axe Murderer" (1993)



_____________________
Jack: It's a game. If he gets the money he wins, if the bus blows up he wins.
Annie: What if you win?
Jack: Then tomorrow we'll play another one.
Annie: But I'm not available to drive tomorrow. Busy.
--"Speed" (1994)



____________________
Jack: Miss, can you handle this bus?
Annie: Oh sure. It's just like driving a really big Pinto....
--"Speed" (1994)



_____________________
McCoy: Where are we going?
Kirk: Where they went.
McCoy: Suppose they went nowhere?
Kirk: Then this will be your big chance to get away from it all.
--"Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan" (1982)



_____________________
Gillian: So you're from outer space?
James T. Kirk: No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in outer space.
--"Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" (1986)



___________
Lois Lane: Any more at home like you?
Clark Kent: Uh, not really...no
...--"Superman" (1978)



___________________
Clark: Lois, you wrote that the world doesn't need a savior, but every day I hear people crying for one.....
--"Superman Returns" (2006)



___________________
Clark Kent: How did Lex Luthor get out of prison?
Jimmy Olsen: When his appeals came up, they called Superman as a witness, and he never showed. How much do you think that pisses off Superman?
Clark: A lot...
--"Superman Returns" (2006)



_____________________
Andy: Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things...and no good thing ever dies......
--"The Shawshank Redemption" (1994)



______________________
Andy: I could use a good man to help me get my project on wheels. I'll keep an eye out for you and the chessboard ready. Remember, Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. I will be hoping that this letter finds you, and finds you well...
--"The Shawshank Redemption" (1994)


_______________
Kat Ellis: I've been spilling my guts all weekend and I don't know anything about you.
Nick Mercer: I'm allergic to fabric softener, and I majored in comparative literature at Brown.
--"The Wedding Date" (2005)



___________________________
Rebecca: Jack has a baby?
Peter: I realize such a concept tends to negate our belief in a benevolent God, but yes.
--"Three Men and a Baby" (1987)



_____________________
H.G. Wells: Do you still insist that this is all poppycock?
Amy Robbins: That's not the word I had in mind.
--"Time after Time" (1979)



_____________________
Noelle: What's wrong, Abby?
Dr. Abby Barnes: Nothing that a rooftop and an AK-47 won't take care of.
--"The Truth about Cats and Dogs" (1996)



____________
Cosmetics Saleslady: We also have this new face cream which neutralizes the free radicals that attack the skin. Let me ask you: what's your skin regime?
Dr. Abby Barnes: My regime? The regime from which the radicals are trying to get free? Are we selling face cream or staging a coup?
--"The Truth about Cats and Dogs" (1996)



_____________________
Dusty: Tasty cow, Aunt Meg!
--"Twister" (1996)



_______________
(Einar points his shotgun at Gary...)
Gary Watson: You've seen too many westerns old man...
Einar Gilkyson: That doesn't exactly work in your favor...
--"An Unfinished Life" (2005)



_______________________
Evey: Who are you?
V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what, and what I am is a man in a mask.
Evey: Well I can see that.
V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation, I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
--"V for Vendetta" (2005)



_____________
Harry: I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
--"When Harry Met Sally" (1989)



_____________________
Willy Wonka: A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men...
--"Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory" (1971)



_____________________
Willy Wonka: Invention is 93% perspiration, 6% inspiration, 3% electricity and 2% Butter scotch ripple.
--"Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory" (1971)