Ed: I was wondering, how much power does the prom queen actually wield? Could you have like, say, bombed Belgium?
Judge: Mr. Stevens, where's your attorney?
Ed: Actually, Your Honor, I'm representing myself in this matter.
Judge: Haven't you heard the saying, "He who represents himself has a fool for a client?"
Ed:Yes sir, I have, and I tried my best to convince me not to hire me to represent myself, but I simply refused to listen to me.
Mike: Who would win in a fight: a big, strong guy or an invisible fat guy?